Pathetic Lamentations of a Boar
by LuckyTurtle
Summary: "I'm so pathetic. And I know it." Kagura's jealousy over two people she "sort-of-knows, sort-of-doesn't". And-believe it or not-it's not Tohru she's jealous of! I'll give you a hint: Kimi. Kakeru. Haha-weird, I know. Anyways. Sort of a drabble. Oneshot


**When I was a little girl (which wasn't that long ago—I'm thirteen), I loved manga. A lot. It was the only thing I **_**really**_** liked. But then, when I got older, I stopped reading them. A long time ago, I saw **_**Fruits Basket**_** and I was going to read it…but then I didn't. So, I finally got back into the "manga mood" and now I'm reading them again. And—guess what?—I read **_**Fruits Basket. **_**And loved it, of course. So now…here I am, making my first **_**Fruits Basket **_**fanfic.**

**This fanfic is based from Kagura's POV…and I'm not QUITE sure how this idea popped into my head, but it did. It came to me a few seconds ago (yes, I'm writing this mere minutes after the idea came to me) when I was reading number fifteen for the first time.**

**My last paragraph may have clued you into the fact that I haven't read all of the books yet. So, you should know that this is set around book fourteen or fifteen or so. However, I am quite aware of the ending (this is what I get for reading fanfics before finishing the series!), so…you know. I won't make it all whacked.**

**And, this is, of course, a oneshot, and shouldn't have any spoilers or anything. It's more of a drabble, really.**

**Anyways. It's from Kagura's POV (as said before) and it's about her jealousy over…well, nevermind. I won't tell you—'cause then I'll spoil it. But I'll tell you this: she's not jealous of Tohru this time! It's someone totally unexpected :) Really, I'm surprised I even thought of it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Fruits Basket**_**, of course.**

I'm so pathetic.

And I know it.

Because…

Maybe the love I thought I had for Kyo was spoiled, but the feeling wasn't. The feeling of dedication that I had towards him, it wasn't gone. I still felt it.

Or…I sort of did.

Now, that feeling…was sort of empty.

But it was still there.

And, believe it or not, that empty love left me jealous.

I didn't know _why_ I was jealous.

Well, I did.

But the person—or people—I was jealous _of?_

It was ridiculous.

They were just normal, ordinary people.

But…for some reason, they reminded me of Kyo and I, and how things might have gone.

Sort of.

Their personalities _were_ quite different—or, at least, different from Kyo's, but they still…

They just reminded me _so much_ of how I wished (once upon a time) that Kyo and I could be like.

And you know who they were?

Some stupid people on the student council at Kyo's school.

And you know what?

Even their names taunted me.

Yes.

Their _names_.

Kakeru and Kimi.

They reminded me too much of Kyo's and my names.

Kyo and Kagura.

All of us have names that start with 'K'.

Kakeru's and Kimi's relationship, name, and personality all spit my empty love back at me in my face.

I shouldn't know Kakeru and Kimi—and I didn't.

Not really.

I sort of did in the passing—enough to know what they acted like and such, but not enough to _know_ them.

It's just…

Kimi reminded me so much of myself.

Well, not really.

Just a little.

But…

Oh, I don't know.

I think the real issue was Kakeru.

He…

Well, the truth is…

Oh. I give up.

I don't know.

I just frickin' _don't know!_

I don't know _why_ they make me jealous…

Maybe it _was _Kakeru.

Probably.

Because, when Kyo and I were little, when we were children, Kyo acted a lot more like Kakeru at times.

If he had stayed on that path, and continued to grow in that direction, believe it or not—he'd be a lot like Kakeru.

And that was what I wished for.

Well…sort of.

I wished for a Kyo—still—that would accept me and love me and fill my empty love back up to the way it used to be—if it ever was that way.

I think.

Maybe I just didn't know.

Maybe I was hopeless..

Oh, never mind that last sentence.

I _know_ I'm hopeless.

Because look at me.

Jealous.

Of people two years younger than me.

Who I sort of know, sort of don't.

How pathetic is that?

**Well. I think this was another failure, but…oh well. Might as well stick it out there.**

**Constructive criticism is welcomed, and so are any other reviews! …Though try to tone it down if you flame me, please?**

**Haha…anyways.**

**Thanks for reading, I suppose.**

**And if you're still reading this ending, then…**

**Oh. I'm just going to go now—I'm probably boring you to death.**

**Thanks again :)**


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